Conjunctions

Susan Scott

Author Susan Scott drew my attention a few years ago to the common practice of using "but" where an "and" might work better. The conjunction "but" suggests two ideas (and subsequently two people) in opposition, while "and" generally escapes that flavor.

Scott coaches CEOs, so it makes sense that she uses a business illustration to reach her target audience. Consider the differences between these two statements:

• I know you want more time to complete the project, but the deadline is looming. You want me to help out in Boston, but I only have a small window in which to make some critical things happen in Seattle. I'd like to help you, but I have no easy choices right now. You seem stressed, but I expect you to deliver this project on time with minimal involvement on my part.

• I know you want more time to compete the project and the deadline is looming. You want me to help out in Boston, and I only have a small window in which to make some critical things happen in Seattle. I'd like to help you, and I have no easy choices right now. You seem stressed, and I expect you to deliver this project on time with minimal involvement on my part.

I imagine the first paragraph with increasing tension. In contrast, the "and" of the second acknowledges the reality of both perspectives, allowing more space for each and communicating greater respect in the process.

A few years later, I'm still thinking about it and find that examples abound way beyond the business world, too. Today's installment comes from a paragraph giving background on adoption in the culture to which the Apostle Paul wrote:

"The child... could now use the term 'Abba' ('Daddy'),

a strong but intimate word

used only by children with their father."

It's a sentence that could really use an upgrade from "but" to "and."