Grace

I messed up. I hurt a friend. I was irritable and frustrated, and allowed that to determine my response. I shouldn't have done it, and hated that I had.

I thought about it. I tried not to. I tried to ignore the reality that I'd offended someone, and when I couldn't, I tried to justify in my mind what I'd said.

But that didn't work either. I was clearly in the wrong.

I thought about it some more, and time passed. Probably he'd forgotten about it, right? Or would soon. Maybe to say something about it would open a wound which had started to heal, right?

Nope. Finally I stopped the excuses, stopped the tasks which were keeping me otherwise occupied, stopped the procrastination, and called. It was a simple conversation, and a short one. I told him what I'd done wrong -- not because he didn't know, but because to verbally acknowledging wrongdoing is important for both involved to truly be reconciled and healed -- and asked for forgiveness. No excuses.

And I was forgiven. Nothing flashy. No threat of probationary friendship. Just the beautiful words "I forgive you" and the incredible peace of restored relationship.

It was hard to ask forgiveness, and surprisingly difficult even to receive it because I knew I didn't deserve it at all. But on that afternoon I saw a reflection of God in a friend who has experienced God's grace and was willing to extend that kind of grace to me.

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:9-13)