Black Friday...

One of our nation's seasonal customs is Black Friday, so named for the time when retailers finally go "in the black" for the year. It has become increasingly crazy as retailers have ramped up marketing intensity and stores have started opening earlier in increasingly frenzied attempts to woo shoppers.

It is therefore not too surprising that another of our nation's seasonal customs is talking about the seriously out-of-bounds behaviors observed in the midst of Black Friday shopping. This year's stories include pepper spray, guns, knives, looting, and muggings.

(For the record, a number of my friends went shopping on Good Friday this year, and not one of them was pepper-sprayed, shot, stabbed, or mugged. First, I'll say "Yay!" Second, I'll appreciate this as a reminder that the news stories about a handful of out-of-control shoppers are not representative of the majority.)

I read an article recently about the excesses of Black Friday, including some of the ways self-correction may be coming about, such as through online shopping. That makes all sorts of sense to me. "But on Saturday many shoppers said they still prefer buying a the big stores, despite the frenzy. [One] said she likes the time with her sisters and the hustle of the mall too much to stay home and just shop online."

Huh. I cannot fathom the thought of actively seeking out massive crowds of frenzied shoppers.

The Context of Hope

This is the first week of Advent, and on Sunday we lit the first candle to signify hope. One thing that has stuck with me is the idea that the word "hope" has a joyful feel to it, and at the same time hope is most truly apparent when the circumstances don't seem particularly joyful. Hope does not ignore the present reality, just refuses to believe that the present reality is the end of the story.

I love the image of the first candle representing hope. It stands alone, the other candles still just shadows of what is yet to come. And the one small flame is only a spark, not a raging fire. But that little flame is enough.

Dignity in Customer Service

I called a company's customer service line this evening in an attempt to find out when the item we ordered is likely to arrive. Their original delivery estimate on the purchase receipt was an eight-day window. Eight days! I can make some adjustments in my schedule to be home for a shipment, but... eight days?? That is much too broad.

The guy on the other end was patient and polite as he examined the details of the order and explained their shipping procedures. Unfortunately for me, their shipping procedures are quite unhelpful. That huge window is built into the system and they have apparently decided it is acceptable. Even when explained by a persistently personable customer service guy, the attitude portrayed by this company's system is that if I really want the item, I'll do whatever it takes to make sure I can be home whenever it is that they decide to show up with it.

Grrr.

I asked clarifying questions, trying to narrow down the possibilities at least a little bit, and the agent on the other end gave another lengthy explanation of the same information. He was still patient, still polite. Just not helpful.

I became more annoyed and actively fought the temptation to take it out on the customer service agent. After all, the company does not meet my expectations and he represents the company, right?

Thankfully, a brief article by Gordon MacDonald came to mind and, as I paused a moment to consider the situation, MacDonald's words helped me gain some perspective and respond more appropriately.

The issue I was having wasn't the fault of the customer service representative. He didn't create the system. He doesn't adjust the system. He's just the one stuck explaining the system. Over and over, to unhappy people, especially in a high-volume and extra-stressful shopping season. Ugh. I do not covet his job.

And I was impressed by how he conducted himself in it.

My issue was not with the customer service person, but with the customer service system, and I decided to acknowledge that. I summarized briefly that I'd called for more precise information about shipping and would end the call feeling frustrated by the situation. I told him it would be unfair to demand more information of him than the company's system provides and, at the same time, I wanted to express quite clearly that their system is inadequate.

My message was clear -- I am not upset with him personally, I am definitely dissatisfied with the company he represents, and there is nothing he can do to fix it.

That's why his response is all the more interesting. He seemed to relax as he spoke with new warmth. "Thank you," he said. "I wish I could give you more information, and I appreciate your understanding." He did not complain about the company, about me, or about other customers. He spoke with dignity. And he sounded genuinely grateful.

I find myself in all of this feeling a little more sad about a cultural trend of treating others poorly, even as objects, because I can't help but wonder how much of this guy's work time includes being berated for issues he cannot fix within the company.

It is sometimes reasonable to be dissatisfied, but that is not reason to be unkind.

Quote

"Our merriment must be between people

who take each other seriously."

(C. S. Lewis)

This is a season of parties and events, of spending time with others. I enjoy the cheerful, fun folks in my life. At the same time, not everything is cheerful and fun, and I am especially grateful for those folks who also leave space for those other parts of life, too.

Vacuuming Efficiency

Our big yellow lab sheds like it's his personal mission in life. Not just the big coarse hairs, but the fine little ones, too -- the kind that stick to my hands and clothes and everything when I pet him, and the ones not currently clinging instead float through the air in search of their next target. It has been driving me nuts.

He needed it anyway, so I brushed him thoroughly and gave him a bath before we left on Thursday. By the time I got him out of the shower, he'd lost so much extra fur that it looked like a very soggy guinea pig was stuck in the drain. Brushed him again as he dried, then during a stretch break in Nowhere, Idaho, and one more time when arrived at our destination. His fur was curlier now and smelled good... and kept fleeing his body like crazy.

In times past, my husband has remarked when vacuuming that it would be a lot more efficient to just skip the carpet and vacuum the dog. And so -- I did. There wasn't a dog-vacuuming attachment (go figure) so we made do with what we had available.

It worked surprisingly well, especially for getting those pesky little static-furs contained. And it didn't bother the dog too much since he got snacks in the process. I'm thinking this may become a regular part of our dog-grooming routine.

Muppet Movie

We saw The Muppets movie with a whole bunch of friends this evening. Lots of themes -- significance of memories and stories, honoring the past while moving forward, priorities, identity, risk and reward, interplay between individuality and community, uniqueness and value of each individual, purpose and meaning, and overcoming adversity. Perhaps the thread I saw most strongly throughout was considering "relevance" in modern culture, with the end result of more intentionally choosing which characteristics of the culture to keep and which to fight.

And, of course, there were Muppets :D

Giving Thanks: Thanksgiving

It is a day designated for giving thanks. So, with a grin toward such lists in grade school, I'll go with an alphabet of gratitude...

Phone Conversation

My new phone has a feature ("Siri") designed to receive and interpret voice input, then respond accordingly. For example:
Me:  Send a text message to Mark.
Siri:  What do you want to say to Mark?
Me:  I will be home in an hour.
Siri:  I updated your message: "I will be home in an hour." Ready to send it?
Me:  Yes.
Siri:  Okay, I'll send it.

It is interesting technology, built with consideration of psychology and relationships in addition to electronics. The programmers worked to mimic something of humanity in this machine. They had some creative fun with it, too. For example:
Me:  What is your favorite number?
Siri:  I don't really like talking about myself.
Me:  What is your favorite color?
Siri:  My favorite color is... well, I don't know how to say it in your language. It's sort of greenish, but with more dimensions.

Siri seeks information, too, more successfully at some times than at others:
Me:  What is the square root of 256?
Siri:  Let me check that for you... Okay, here you go... 16.
Me:  Where do you come from?
Siri:  I, Siri, was designed by Apple in California.
Me:  Where do babies come from?
Siri:  I found two baby stores fairly close to you...

I decided to test out the speech-recognition capability by writing yesterday's blog post, so I powered up the phone and started talking:
Me:  Take a note.
Siri:  (notepad screen opens) Okay, I can take that note for you... just tell me what you want it to say.
Me:  "I injured myself a few weeks back -- torqued my back while picking up a piece of paper. It was not heavy paper, mind you, nor large and awkwardly shaped..."
Siri:  (interrupting) I found nine hospitals fairly close to you.

That last part reminded me of some human conversations, too -- listening for main ideas and responding quickly, while missing the point in the process. The fun and creative parts of being human, the things which make each person unique, also sometimes lead to misunderstandings. But those parts of being human can also help us work together to clarify, confirm, and find new ways to communicate.